Yesterday, I got the call I've been waiting for, what feels like, a lifetime. Showcase is producing a pilot and they wanted me to be the host.

Great!
no. not great.

I would be required to sign a contract that might force me to go topless should the producers wish it to be so.

I tried to bargain, I went pretty close to nude, but, no go. Totally toplessness on camera in a capacity that would tarnish my reputation, demolish my integrety and eliminate any future career as a respected television host.

It's been a hard day, I've been feeling low. To get so close to something that I've been looking for so long and to come across a moral dilemma the killed the opportunity in the water. It's upsetting. I just want to be a host to bring the world alive for people. To enlighten, entertain and be respected for this role.

It is hard. But, for some it just falls in their lap.
Maybe it's like love? If you're not looking for it, it'll just happen.
But, if I don't look for it, it may never happen.
I'm not ready to let go, yet. And, I know I don't need to go topless to get there.