It's no secret that many moons ago I competed in pageants. It was a bittersweet experience to try and live up to the rigid rules yet still maintain a sense of self. Needless to say, parts of my personality had to be supressed in order to successfully complete the 7-10 day ordeals.

Do you know what it's like to wake up at 5am in the morning just so you can put on false eyelashes for a trip to the ROM? Neither did I until I competed in Miss Universe Canada.

In fact, prior to the 5am calls and fake smiles, I had to meet with pageant organizer Denis Davila to discuss my potential to compete in what would have been my first pageant.

He was quick to assess me, from the weight I had to lose on my hips, to the bleaching my teeth would require. However, what was most confusing would have been when Denis asked me if I had any nude photos or anything that would ever compramise the reputation of the organization should I be crowned Miss Universe Canada.

That's when I began to think, "What narrow opinion of empowerment do pageants try to promote?" The chaste and virginal ingenue is the stuff of conformist myths that 1950's upheld and have most definitly lost integrity, especially after women's liberation.

Guidelines to compete in many pageants include rules that restrict behaviour that is deemed acceptable in Western culture. Being married, having a marriage annulled, living with a partner, pregnancy, even termination of a previous pregnancy, and history of working in the sex trade, or posing for nude images/videos are all frowned upon.

Yep, no powerful tales of overcoming the odds for these kids.

Squeaky clean.
Chaste.
Virginal.
Perfect specimins who relinquish their right to act independantly to the pageant director.

This is modern day pageants! No wonder they are huge in 3rd world countries where women's lib is but a twinkle in an oppressed woman's eye! There is an activity that brings forward demure and easily molded women who signed legally binding contracts that attests their chaste status.

So what happens when Miss New Jersey gets pregnant, she has to hand over her crown.
Miss Nevada was stripped of her crown when nudie shots of her appeared on the internet. Yes, the pun was intended. And, of course Miss Nevada would have a sexy past, she's MISS NEVADA! Hello, home of the most lax sex trade laws in the United States! If she didn't have some nudiness then she probably wouldn't be a very good representative, would she?
Miss USA nearly was busted for underaged drinking, but, she saved her crown with the promise of going to rehab.

Listen up, I think pageants are ridiculous for their inability to evolve with the times. Simply giving the girls a voice to travel around the world and talk about AIDS isn't empowering enough. To punish women for engaging in the act women are designed to do is truly insulting. To punish women for any of the actions of their youth, is appauling.

To act as though single women without children, without a colourful past and without youthful passion, are the perfect young ladies. I beg to differ.

They are chaste.
They are naive.
But, they are not empowered.

They are tools of a patriarch, and his name is Trump.
He owns the corporation and the women.

Bitches, you ain't no man's slave. Go forth, live with your boyfriends, eat, smoke pot and take photos while you f*ck. You are human. Act like it!