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Friday, September 29, 2006

2005 Blue Man group decends upon Toronto in it's 12 million dollar 700 seat Panasonic theater.
A year later it closes.
Poor ticket sales encouraged low attendance and luke warm reception amongst the Toronto population. Blue Man Group's publicist, Laura Camien, blames not only the boycot spearheaded by Canadian Actors' Equity, but Toronto.

"It's disheartening that Toronto hasn't rebounded yet and has lately been unable to support long-run shows," she told the Star Wednesday.

It's so easy to put the blame on Toronto's supposed inability in recent years to attract substantial audiences.

I think that's pucky. With companies like the Canadian Opera Company drawing in record numbers for an artform that can get mixed reviews, I think the Toronto audience is becoming much more culturally aware.

What I don't think is that theater producers are granting the Toronto public enough credit. Yeah, the Blue Man Group did fab in Chicago, New York and Vegas for 10-15 years but, the oh so elusive Canadian identity does rear its head. To expect Canadian audiences to respond in a similar manner based solely on comparative population, wealth and class is foolish. Those things have little to do with the way that Canadians think and act.

Perhaps the Blue Man Group would have done better in 1991. Perhaps it would have done better if it chose to support the fair practice rules that the Canadian Actors' Equity works so hard to protect.

Or maybe, Canadian audiences are much too smart for the ridiculousness that's a bunch of men painted in blue doing commerically safe performance art.

But, that's just me.

There was a time when being a real life Carrie Bradshaw was a cool thing.
Single women relaying tales of their sordid romantic misadventures in columns, blogs, and books. All inspired by the antics of the 4 best buddies on Sex and the City.

If you're like me and you come across a blog, a book or a show that's all about the female experience, dating in a pre-menopausal chick-lit designer trimmed world, you probably greet it with the enthusiasm of a bitchy 13-year-old.

But, after examining my own blogging trends and hearing comments from friends "This post is soooo Carrie Bradshaw", I started to feel a little over exposed and very much unoriginal. My fears were confirmed, one of the biggest trends of 2005 were books and novels dedicated to the mid-thirties dating sexperience. Ah, Chick-Lit (or CLit as I like to call it)

First off, females can identify CLit a mile away. Usually identified by the appearance of the colour pink somewhere on the cover and accented by doodled drawings of martini glasses, lipstick tubes and frilly knickers. CLit most recently has appeared in its finest form as non-fictional books on dealing with dating, break ups, and just all around being fabulous in the city.

Non-Fiction is currently the preferred version of CLit replacing romances on the shelves of professional women nationwide!

So what is it about CLit that the ladies love?

We love knowing we are not alone, that others are sharing the same emotions we are. Ultimately we try to be easy going and optimistic people, but, occasionally we slip. At these moments we desperately grab for the easiest read that will help us through, the comfort read. Formerly magazines like Cosmo and Glamour, but, now why by a magazine for 1500 words when you could buy a WHOLE BOOK of 100 plus pages worth of fabulous female advice and tales from the dirty side of dating?!

But, as I discovered, once I started to read these books, they did make me feel better for a bit. Then reality set in and the one sided discussions the book put forward were not helpful to me in the slightest. Sure it was entertaining to read about women who went off the deep end during a break up, throwing themselves into snow banks desperately dialing their ex's parents at 3 am in the morning only to ask them if they knew where he was.

The only redeming element to these books was the hilarity in that I would never do that. Ever. In fact, the fact that some of these women shared their tales of ridiculous lows and in a way celebrates them make me feel like I want to keep those secrets to myself.

It's not good behaviour.
Where's the chick lit that celebrates independance of self and rejoicing in your own fabulousness? To consistantly demonize men as the causes to these women's lapses of sanity that they feel is appropriate to share with the world is a little trite. And, yes, I blog. But, there's a lot of things I don't blog about because I feel it's deeply personal and I don't want the world to know. I'm more interested in the differences between men and women as opposed to the crazy shit wacked out and newly single bitches get down to because somehow they feel entitled to behave poorly due to the hurt another person caused them.

Listen, I was hurt. But, I never:

  • Snuck into his email
  • Called him at 3 am in the morning to sob and ask why
  • In fact, ever call him. Damn sucker dumped me, I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of having a women like me chase after a dumbass like him
  • Called his parents
  • Called his sister
So let me, Karmacake, be your guide in being young, fabulous and free from being an emotional slave to work and men. Be smart. And, maybe we'll get some new chick lit!


Today I'm sick in bed.
Yesterday I was hot shit at Threads2006, the annual fashion show featuring the fabulous indie fashion designers of Toronto in support of Dress Your Best. A charity that assists the underprivileged and underserved men and women of Toronto to acquire business suitable attire for job interviews and work. It's a worthy cause and I was more than happy to roll down to Revival and go support it. Arm and arm with my crew, Terlical, Jax, Will(amina), Léners, Anna & Adriana we scoped the best spot for prime model watching. But not before we found Edible fruit arrangements dotting the bar. Delicious and attractive we started to nosh right away. Pineapple, Strawberries, Cantelope and Honey Dew.

Honey Yum!

Hosted by Kim D'eon from ET Canada and featuring performances by Nicole of MTV and Xquisit fame, it was a wicked night of fashion, fashionable and me, the fashionably fashionest!

The night began with a stress: A fashion show to go to and I had nothing to wear. The outfit I had so carefully mapped out in my mind was impossible to assemble. The important pieces required were not to be found anywhere so I went with the standard Karmacake uniform:

Blue sparkly top with a dramatic v-neck and skinny legged denim pants


Once dressed it was out the door and on to the night!
The overall fashion sense of the was a little flat, but, then again... it is Toronto on a Thursday night. But, I do give props to those who tried except for the Chictard who decided on resurrecting the acid washed jeans look.

"Yes, your bum does look big in those pants."

But, heck maybe that's what she was going for?

Back to the fashion show!

The night featured numerous designers and because I forgot the camera at home, we're unable to show you their work. Few stand outs include Dagg & Stacey for their chic twist on tweed women's work attire, and Narcissist for their increble $100 dress that can convert into 5 different looks.

We love that.

The models were green for the most part, but gorgeous and provided by NAM models. One girl upset us all due to her excessively protruding pelvic bone. It got to the point where the majority of folks in the audience had to turn away. To be so beautiful and so repellent! In the end she'll have a much brighter career than I ever did!

Now the fashion show totalled 2 hours and there was nary a place to rest our weary stilletto supported feet. One downside, no chairs in the VIP section.

The night was planned by Miss Elina Chow of Plan-E events and was attended by everyone. Including my friend Erol who is also a writer for Toronto-Franco.com.

So let's sum up the evening:

Great night
Great fashion

Great cause.

You all must make a point to attend next year, it was a fabulous show.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm a fashionista on a mission.

Tonight: Threads2006 at Revival

And, I will be attending. Seeking to do a classic 50's revival complete with pencil skirt, leopard print pumps, purse, and a cute top. Hopefully a gorgeous Grace Kelly volumptuous cowl in an ivory to compliment my string of pearls.

It's all about style kids, and I need to represent!

See you later

m

Everyday you learn something new, right?
You learn things like never take a pink pill when you've been drinking, never wear stillettoes when you're walking down hills, and in some cases you learn to just keep your big ol' mouth shut.

Something I definitly have a huge problem with! As you can see by the horrendous photo on the right. Big mouth - Check. Problem keeping it shut - Double Check!

Last night I had one of these life altering epiphanies: Am I so self obsessed that I don't even give other people a chance? I think that I'm so busy with my own life that maybe I come across like I'm not interested in others or maybe that I'm just not interested in getting to know people better.

At the end of the day, I'm just a girl, in a world that's bigger than I can imagine. My time is short and I want to make the most out of it. I surround myself with good people with different backgrounds, including artists, atheletes and professionals.

Underneath all my talk, is just a girl that wants to wear her jeans, play her indie rock and doze on the couch with a really great guy.

But, here's the thing. I'm not looking to make that happen over night - HEY! Maybe THAT'S MY PROBLEM! I'm also not in any rush for anything... maybe I should start acting like I am.

Okay, new leaf!

Desperate Karma now hitting a single's bar near you!

Ew. On second thought... no. I'll just go back to being chillax.

Oh lord, that single's bar thought made me feel a little nauseated. ick. Lord! WHO DOES THAT?!... oh yeah... cougars.

gross.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Have you walked down the street and seen a few ChicTards sauntering past you in the haze of fashion ridicule? Misguided and alone, these folks have no clue on how to intrepret the latest trends.
Let's start with ChicTard #1

There's a reason why the boots are called UGGS. UGH! ANOTHER BITCH IS WEARING THEM!? Why? Well, there was a time when people looked towards Britney Spears for fashion tips. Those days we look back and think "Weren't we naive"

Obviously these ones didn't.

If you're looking for a shoe that looks perpetually dirty and instantly inflates the size of your calves to meat loaves then this is the shoe for you!
Apparently, it's fashionable to pair the shoes with a pair of grey sweats now a days. Listen, if anyone is reading this. PLEASE, set the uggs free, burn them, trash them, suspend them in a tree for squirrels to live in, but, do not wear them.

Chic Tard #2: The Edwardian Boy Pants

Don't pair your brown plaid cropped Edwardian Boy Pants with a pair of knee high vinyl boots with the square heel.

If you must wear a boot, make it a little cropped booty in a corresponding colour.
Further to that, pair the pants with a thick knit stocking and the shoes for a cute throw back look.

Mashing random styles from the past 3 decades can make a whole lot of bad things happen. I tried to let it slide, but, it was so hideous I had to follow the woman.

Don't be a Chic Tard!
Take your time.
Get Fashion right!

With great honour I welcome the newest member to the Karmacake family.
Lappy3000 arrived today via courier and weighs less than a baby's arm.

"I've waited so long for this moment! And, it's finally here. I know we will be happy together for a long time."

It's with sad regret, KC must donate her desktop, Desky McClunkerson, to a local computer to school charity. But, she knows that its parts will bring much joy to underserved youth across the GTA.

Imogen Heap - (coming to Massey Hall)
Mickey Avalon
The Streets
The Gorillaz
Radiohead (bootleg)
Lily Allen - (coming to mod club!)

Thank you myspace, you make good music easy to find. Almost as easy as turning on my tv set!

Just when you think you've seen it all, humanity comes in an lowers the bar -AGAIN!








I LOVE YOU ROBO-COCK!
Screech's early years as a pornographer (pictured above) Engaging in mechanical stimulation was the norm until 2000 when he discovered he could pay bitches for sex. The result? Bad credit, $250,000 in debt, a foreclosure, & 30,000 Hanes t-shirts to sell with
Screech mispelled.

Ew Ew Ew!

Screech is now featured in a down and dirty sex tape featuring himself, his
member, and a vile little act called, "The Dirty Sanchez" How do I know what the Dirty Sanchez is? Ask the good guys at The Dean Blundell Show.

Coincidentally enough, Dustin Diamond (the actor who played Screech) was feature on the the Dean Blundell Show earlier in the year on a quest to save his house from foreclosure.

How?

By selling t-shirts of course!

I see we've moved up in the world, haven't we, Dustin?

It's been reported that Dustin's been trying hard to move away from the Screech type cast, and apparently this tape is a good way to do it. Ya think?

I guess it might not be such a bad idea, mainly attributed to the potential for some great catch phrases, such as: "Yo, Bitch. You've been Screeched!"

It could potentially spawn a hilarious series where, Screeech (spelled with 3 E's because DD doesn't own the rights to the character or the name), travels the world in his own "Shaggin' Wagon", picking up folks and "Screechin' them in". But, unlike the Newfoundland tradition, Screech would substitute the Moonshine (effectionately known as Screech) for him doin' ya, and the kissing the cod for sucking his cock.

It's a brilliant idea. Someone get me Vivid on the line, I need in on this!

Dustin's career has been shaky since the get go. Originally passed over for a role in the cult classic "Cool as Ice" due to his youth. Though it's unclear which role it was for, I think it was Vanilla Ice's part. From there, Dustin earned a monumental role in Big Top Peewee, where Dustin forged a close personal relationship with butt love mentor, Paul Reuben. Le King Des Dirty Sanchez.

Working title is "Saved by the Smell"

Can I just remind everyone of one important factor? Sex tapes rejuvinate careers of the hot, the hotter and the hottest. Paris, Tommy Lee, Colin Farrell, Pamela Anderson, etc etc etc. It's questionable whether or not this kinky 40-minute sex tape featuring Dustin Diamond contorting with two women will really make an impact beyond being a staple in the Gag-gift repertoire.

Or, a favorite tool used by Bulemics nation wide.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

As the year goes on I'm collecting a few of my favorite pictures and having some of my favorite adventures with nobody else except for my girlfriends.


The kegger at the League of Hotties back in August.
Picture #1 - Luke (LOH Member), KC, Bumbajax, and Leigh (LOH Member)
Picture #2 - MamaLeners, KC, Bumbajax (aka-Together Girl), Fionakins


Fiona's Cottage! While I was enroute with the official cottage car for the weekend, the girls headed into town to buy food. They didn't find food, but, they did find trouble!
Picture #1 - Fionakins, Terlicals & Michelle chillin' with the dicks
Picture #2 - Brilliance! Canada Day Celebrations Fireworks got changed into something better!



Montreal! More photos!! What a great birthday, I went to Toronto with a few of my favorite girls. We were missing so many of my good friends and we missed them everyday we were there. xox Love you all!

Picture #1 - Babycakes (Bumblycheeks) shows us how public drinking is done, NS Style!
Picture #2 - KC showing Babycakes how it's done PEI style! Terlicals is not amused.
Picture #3 - Julie and KC chillaxin' in our studio apartment



Jax (Togethergirl) and I go and socialize at Revival. Our new stomping grounds. If you want to go and check out a hot party and you want an in, then email us. We always make sure the party is hot. You can catch us there again on October 6th. Email us and we'll hook you up!

Picture #1 - Taking over the dance floor in Revival's Stone Lounge!
Picture #2 - Bad Jax! Silliness in my condo's hallway.

Why should boys be the only one with toys?
Women stereotypically indulge in clothes, but recently I've discovered there's one other item that women talk about almost as candidly as a they talk about a pair of shoes.

Seeeeeeexxxxxxxxx Toyyysssssssss

Maybe if I write it with excessive letters my mother won't be able to decifer the actual context.

Vibrators have moved into the mainstream and have become an acceptable addition to most womens' bedside table collections. So what gives? Did we go through another sexual revolution? As a woman, I was trained there was one great liberation of bra burning dotted with shouts of equality. From there came raunchy books on sex, then the backlash. A giant female slam against erotic publications and shops that sold the offensive materials. To own a vibrator? What!? Unheard of!

Then there was this show: Sex and the City. Featuring a group of sexually adventurous archetypal females. Then sex talk, sex play and sexual everything came to the fore and women everywhere were brunching over topics of orgasms and hooking up.

My personal favorite topic is the ex. But, that topic is a little tired... there's only so much you can say until one friend chimes in "He was an idiot, not cute, and you're so much better than him!" I know it, he knows it, we all know it! But, it feels real good to hear it, lots!

I digress!

Going back to the topic at hand, I realized the other day while dozing on my girlfriend's bed that she never owned a vibrator. Shocked, I couldn't believe it. Never used a vibrator, never owned a vibrator, never even held a vibrator! Can it be? A young 20 something female who is essentially a vibrator virgin?

Yes, it's true.

Where the vast majority of women have embraced their little mechanical buddies as acceptable substitutions for men. In many cases, this is probably for the best. They don't break your heart, they don't leave a big mess and they never let you down- especially when it counts.

Although, they don't cook you dinner and you would probably look a little odd sitting next to one in a movie theatre, you never have to wonder what it is that they're thinking!

So after I resolve to purchase my friend her first Knight of Shining Armour, I had to bid a fond adieu to my own. He served me well, and now he must be put to rest. So as I toss my beloved bunny (a gift from my university sweetheart) who has survived, 4 cities, 2 long term boyfriends and many lonely nights.

And, as I pack up bunny, I can't help but wonder if this is my liberation. Is this the last of the bad boyfriend karma that was lingering around my apartment? Can I finally be free?

Yes, I can.

The next one I get, I'm buying myself.

When I first heard him, I wasn't feelin' it.

But, today, I can't get enough of this diminuitive indie punk rap star.

Check out his myspace here

With bitingly clever lyrics that illustrate a Trainspotting-esque world. I would write them out, but, I'm at work.

It'll come later!

m

Monday, September 25, 2006

Muffy, Skanky Bitch, Bumbajax, Baby Cakes, Mamaleners and Sweet Tits go out on a Saturday night.

rhyme removed by request of BUMBAJAX!

1. Bumbajax ends up on 105FM hyping JAMA ent on Friday night! Congrats, I'm sorry I didn't hear it, but, I'm sure you sounded great!

2. Saturday night went out to Footworks. Saw EVERYONE and it was great... One of the best surprises was seeing Helena and Mel. Helena because she lives out in Brampton and I think she's amazing. Mel, because last time I saw her it was a long time ago, but, it was amazing to see her again. She's a kindred spirit and another one of the great things from my break up

3. Saturday night sleep over at Tara's. Sarah and I were so wound up that we couldn't relax. I ended up watching Showgirls and getting really disturbed. It's not only bad. It's terrible.

4. We Make Party on Sunday night. Rob fixed my computer. Erol bought pizza. Tara and Jax showed up and we drank old lady drinks, watched tv and gave Erol a facial? Nah, we didn't give Erol a facial... at... all... that was a lie.

So what's next?

I don't know!

"What song stands out to you on the Top 40?"
"Well I listen to a lot of UK Top 40. Lily Allen, The Streets, Example. You know."
"That's great. But, what about our Top 40?"
kc thinking. Insert Internal Dialogue
"Isn't it a top 30 countdown on the Much channels? Which top 40 is he talking about? Oh just pick a song, you listen to music all the time. You're known as the girl that knows all the songs. You don't really have a fav. Nelly Furtado, "Maneater", Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back", Fergie "Oh shit"? Nah, everyone will say those... Corinne Bailey Rae? CORRINE BAILEY RAE!"

"I would say Corrin Bailey Rae, 'Go put your records on'" For the job and the salary, please.

Suck on that. She's current, hot, cute and singing a a lovely jazz inspired song on a top 40 chart. By virtue of the genre it stands out!

"What juicy question would you ask Beyonce?"
"Her inability to purchase properly tailored clothes that hold her boobs in? Why is she biting Britney's style all the time? How she can keep a straight face when Jay-Z announced he was coming out of retirement? JAY-Z!? I want to know this question!"


"Why did you have to keep your relationship with Jay-Z a secret for so long? We saw the photos, the world was there in the relationship since day one, so why continue lying to the public and saying you weren't dating? It couldn't have been because you wanted to keep it private, please, there was nothing private about it, starting with the 'Bonnie & Clyde' video. Were you embarrassed because you were dating Jay-Z?" because I sure as heck would be!


And, that my dears was it.
The interview. The answers. and my internal dialogue.

There's no question about my overall understanding of music. From the history and evolution to the pop music today. I just hope that my experience, style, eloquence and overall presentation gets me a call back.

In the end, it boils down to this:

For some people, music is a fad.

For me it's a lifestyle.

I am a tv host, and I will get there one day.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The title has nothing to do with the post beyond that's the track that's playing in the background. Basement Jaxx, new album Crazy Itch Radio, at Sunrise Records, hawt!

Perfect for noon hour chair dancing.

So here's the run down, Kids!

1. Jay-Z announced he's coming out of retirement? He retired? What? When did that happen? I think in the realm of the rapstar world, retirement equates to being "Featured" on several of your girlfriend's tracks. So the single drops in October and the album drops in November. Keep an eye out for it and don't confuse it for any of those other tracks that Jay-Z appears on in the interim.

2. Why is Jay-Z's album called "JAY-Z Returns"? Maybe the fact that people didn't mourne his disappearance with the usual air brushed shirts, charcoal portraits, and adoring lyrics in fellow rapstar's songs. Sorry Jay-z, you ain't no Tupac.

3. Rachel Ray, voted the most hated face on Food TV got a talk show. Potentially the most annoying show on tv, bets are now on for the impending end to the series. I give it 4 months max. Anyone?

4. Mark Bradfield scores stellar shots from this year's Toronto Internation Film Festival that I conveniently avoided for fear of being physically abused by hurried photogs. Check out the shots here and die in jealousy that he got so close to the delicious celebrities.

5. There has to be hot men outside of the world of celebs.

6. Slouchy boots with a wedge are the hot new must pair with tapered jeans.

7. Skybox rocks. Check out their myspace.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Ah, what the fuck.
I blogged and killed a "potential" friendship.
Please.

So my words, written on Karmacake were caustic enough to make someone feel misrepresented and exposed. But, if that's the way the scene played, and you feel displeased with it, then perhaps you need to re-examin your role.

My real friends understand that I have the best intentions, and sometimes I overlook people's feelings in the quest of some "higher good". Sometimes misplaced, but, I mean well and as empathetic as I am, I hurt when I know I've hurt other people.

So do I feel bad? Yeah, of course I do.
Am I going to try and repair this friendship? No. When people can't communicate,

there is no friendship.

Remember that girls.


Click in and buy your tickets now!

I had a dream that I asked Ryan Reynolds if Alanis bites her nails.

It was very important for me to know the answer to this question.

And, now I want to know, what does this dream mean!?

I'm sure she doesn't care, but, she's such a simple yet poignant lyricist!
I just can relate to these lyrics so well and I thought I would share them with you.
You can hear this track on Lily Allen's myspace (She's also going to be in Toronto, October 8th)


Lily Allen Little Things Lyrics

Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started calling me your Mrs
All the play fighting
All the flirtatious disses
I’d tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We’d spend the whole weekend
Lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy
In your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin’ tea in bed, watchin’ DVD’s
When I discovered all your dirty, grotty magazines
You’d take me out shopping
And all we’d buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you’d make that face you do
There’s no-one in the world who could replace you

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

I'm not a tomboy. Never was and I never will be. But, what I am is that strange little subsect of females known as "The Guy's Girl".

What does it mean to be this? Well, among other things, it means that you end up with more guy friends than boyfriends because chances are you are a chill and easy to get a long with person.

What it also means is that my guy friends feel compelled to voice their opinion on who they believe I ought to be dating. So they pick the one mutual guy friend they think is the best guy and then they proceed to pitch.

*sigh*

It used to be embarrassing, but, I've learned to accept it. In the end, I have to remember that my guy friends have my best interests in mind. They only want to make sure that I'm happy, they are just looking out for me.

It's like having a league of brothers that you never have to clean up after.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

4 days, 4 girls, 1 studio apartment, 1 shuttle bus ride down, 1 rented car ride back, and the novelty of buying alcohol everywhere never running out!

Montreal was great.

We might have been scammed by the shuttle bus on the way down. But, that wasn't enough to dampen our spirits, or the cackles from Jax and Tara consistantly eminating from the rear of the van. "PEPPERMINT AEREOLAS! AHAHAHAHAHA"

What!?
Excuse me while I slide down my seat in embarrassment.

Finally we arrive at Atwater Metro, across the street is a MacDonalds, and I immediately purchase Un Trio #9 - Le McPoulet! Le McDelicious!

We grab a cab, speak some broken French, roll up to our Hotel and have our cabbie not want to let us out.

The neighborhood is sketchy. Eh, not a crack whore in site! Except for this photo of Jax being a giant geek on the bed. How sketch is this really? Prostitutes? Please! At least they are employed! The suite was great, clean, big, with a kitchen and regardless of whether or not the toilet screamed when it was flushed, we could crawl out the window and have an oh so chic rooftop patio to sun ourselves on, so it all balanced out.
When you're each paying $20 a night there is little you can complain about!

And, next door to the Contemporary Art Museum AND ST. HUBERT!

Mmmmmm grand Poutine!

Now it's food, fun and frivolity as we cruise the city. However, everywhere that we go people stare and ask "You're not from around here are you?" and we didn't care. We got free drinks, great treatment and even though Tara and Jax disappeared until the wee hours of the A.M. we still got some shopping squeezed in the next day just before meeting up with Julie for some dinner.

Julie looked great! She's the president of LaJulie.ca a nutrition councilling website and service. She's charismatic, charming and my oh so belle friend since high school... 10 years now! When my Toronto girls met my Montreal sister, it was instamatic love so she's the new Satellite Bitch holding down the MTL Hood.

Dessert comes, a fudge cake with a sparkler on top, refrains of Happy Birthday filled our booth, while we all scrambled to grab our cameras I automatically play with the sparks... Why don't they burn?!?

End of the trip included a carriage ride on the day of the Dawson Disaster. The city was still moving but the air was sad. Refrains of "Not Again" echoed around the city and tv's were turned on while shocked Montrealers watched waiting to hear details.

Last day, we shopped.
I bought a little winter bomber jacket, oh so cute.
Jax got some sexy jeans.
We picked up a rental car, cheaper and more convenient then the lame ass shuttle bus we took down. 4 people & 1 1 way rental = $35 each, unlimited stops, snacks and we can be as loud as we want!

It doesn't matter, Little Miss Sarah will sleep through it!

More to come... more photos. more outtakes. more stories.

Friday, September 15, 2006



He's got no idea
I want his attention
I try to keep it my secret
It's no use.

Goodness, I like this!
Brown eyes turn to blue
He's got no idea where I've been
No idea what he's been missin'

The smug n' shy little girl
He doesn't even know the name of.
Until I get to the other side
of my tv

Montreal was a great vacation! But, before I get into the nitty gritty of the weekend, I discovered, like an animated Ghandi in his high school cafeteria, I was blessed by the gift of Rhyme.

Standing outside a place on St. Laurent in Montreal, waiting to get into Lodge Taverne with some overly enthusiastic McGill students, I was struck with the lyrical epiphany.

Waiting to party where da ballz 'aven't dropped. The girls look like sluts but theyz cherries ain't popped.


The follow up track came the next night when faced with folks snorting blow.

Snort Snort it's cocaine. Up my nose and to my brain


The hits didn't stop there! Because I'm a lyrical gangsta!

Poor baby snores. Our cries she ignores - but, when we push her ovah she falls on da floor. WHAT!


Rhyming is exhausting. I need to take a break.

Go check out my friend Travis on MTV talking about his upcoming CTV Pilot "The Big One"

The Big One

So proud of him, he's done a great job and my fingers are crossed that the show does well... and he let's me ride on his coat tails.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The warehouse party though... now THAT was an experience! After Never Forgive Action at the Gypsy Co-op and 3 beef patties later. My possee and I walked down a quiet residential road until we came to an unlit run down building that obviously saw better days. A burly door man assess the group for a familiar face and when that test was passed the door opens quietly and we're encouraged to run in quickly.

Inside it was kind of as you would've expected. It was a warehouse... but, at least they tried to make it a little homey. Ropes hung precariously around the perimeter of the rooms suspending black sheets. Mismatched couches allowed coked out partiers to relax in the "quiet room"/"bar", strange luau decorations were stuck on the walls... I guess that was supposed to remind us we were at a party. Kind of hard to forget with the loud music playing and the drunk partigoers shouting "WOO! THIS IS A FUCKING AWESOME PARTY!"

House DJ's were spinning relatively high above the dance floor in their own little dj platform and of course it was House. And, I hate house music... So I spent a lot of time in the quiet room and chillin' in the bathroom believe it or not. I got so many apologetic glances and hugs from tripped out partier goers when the word spread that I didn't like House.
STOP THE PRESSES! MISS KARMACAKE HATES HOUSE!

WHAT?! HOW CAN THAT BE!? IT'S HOUSE MUSIC!

APPARENTLY SHE DOESN"T LIKE IT!

POOR THING. HER EARS MUST BE BROKEN!

nope, I just don't do that many drugs.

It was entertaining, for the little while I was there before I left. Then I started fixing some girl's hair in the bathroom and she then proceeded to give me her "card" . which was a 5X7 glossy flyer advertising that her album is in stores now, and her myspace. She's one of those artists you've seen the flyer & posters for her work, but, never actually hear her song.

So I chatted with her for a while and that was it.

Went home, went to bed and dreamed of breakfast.

So there, you experienced the night first hand, the only thing I left out was the guy trying to pick me up with the line 'So I take it your friend is the one that gets all the guys talking to her'. That was classic. Or maybe he was just being cruel, either way, he got a slap.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I have to ask myself if I am a bad person.

I do realize that I've fallen somewhat away from the happy go lucky little girl from PEI, but, that's to be expected. Move away, gain new experiences, meet new people and get involved in new projects.

However, the one thing I've always prided myself on is my unwavering love for my friends. My support for their work and my undying appreciation for them all. So why is it, I've met a person who says they want to be my friend, and yet their actions read otherwise. What does that mean?

Granted he and I went out on a few dates, but, we were never a)exclusive or b)enjoying more than each other's time. I could care less on the outcome of the romantic side of things, but, I wouldn't have spent so much time with him had I not wanted to be his friend.

It really hurts to know that there's someone out there who I thought I made that amicable connection with and they've just thrown it back in my face.

Rejection hurts period. But, this one just stings because I don't understand why someone does not want to be my friend.

So as I finish noshing on my sweet and sour scallops and stare at my apartment which is near sparkling perfection, I wonder if his decision to shun me has to do with me, and if so, what do I need to do to change it?

Or maybe, I'm fine, and he just doesn't know how to take it. Regardless, in the end, people should not lie and say they want to be someone's friend and then not live up to expectations.

Friends don't let friends wonder why the fuck they don't return an email.

Friday, September 08, 2006

And, I hate it.

Now that's untrue... I'm just hating. My neighbourhood is a cocktail of spectacular spectacles akin to a fashionista's fabulous circus. Stilt walkers juggling fire while gogo dancers shake what their mommas gave them on cynlidrical platforms at the Gardiner Ceramic Museum. While simultaneously U of T's Frosh week comes to a close with initiations and humilations.

Fumbling fashionista wanna bes clug around in hideous cork wedges shooting pained glances at girls like me who can a)walk in heels and b)look good in tight pants.

The haters are out in full form and I will be joining them. On the rock on cumberland with a latte and a box of wine. Unfortunatly, the sunglasses, they aren't gucci, they are $10 jobbies.

But, they look
FABULOUS!

Thursday, September 07, 2006


If you're on myspace you understand that it's hot right now.
Bands and personal myspaces are everywhere and people are eating that shit up!

Well, where there's bands, there are groupies & fans, and where there are female fans there are men.

Desperate men.

Like Philippe of Montreal. Like a moth to a flame I attract hideous men from across Canada! Philippe COULD have been my friend, but... well let's count down all the unattractive things about his profile:

1. Strippers for friends. And, I ask, "how did I fit in to this?"
2. Jetski as a lifestyle.
3. The towel shot.
4. Kind of looks like the guy from American Psycho.
5. How is rigging a career option? Aren't they also called rope manufacturers?

Listen, Men of the World. I do get offended when you think that I'm suitable to be added to your shelf top collection of Ho's. If you're #1 friend is a Suicide Girl, then chances are slim that I will be your friend.

Self respect is in short supply this year and I'm holding on to as much as I can. I'm sure there's some other elderly woman that would like to see what you have under that hotel towel of yours.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


MY BIRTHDAY, YO!

The only thing I've made of my dating life is a giant mess -oh! And, several small fires.

Regardless of the intensity of the flames, whether it started on a sexy spark and then crashed and burned, there's little you can do to stop it. Sometimes convincing yourself is the hardest part! Regardless, keep in mind, that if a relationship is doomed to go up in smoke, believe me when I tell you, the only option you have is to walk away.

So let's draw from a real life example:

Lil' Miss Me, goes out with a funny and interesting guy, Mr. F2 as he will be known as. Everything about our pairing was off including 10 years, a career and a marriage.

Thinking like the optimistic child that I am, I reasoned that I should give it a shot. And, without questioning it, I was starting to dig Mr. F2. But, I also knew it had to end.

So several dates later, some awkward and unfruitful attempts at sex, I walked away trying to figure out how I was going to break up with him.

What I reasoned is a few parameters, such as:

1. The break up must be in person. Nullifying email, text messaging, phone and msn messenger.
2. The break up must enforce my appreciation for his company as well as my ill fitting as a girlfriend.
3. The break up must be sincere.


Sunday morning, what was in my inbox:

"So I've been thinking about it - we're very different people and I
don't feel this is going to work out. I think we should stop seeing
each other. I'm sorry it didn't work out but I think it's for the
best in the long run. I hope we can still keep things amicable."


While I was a little shocked that I was putting so much care and effort into devising the perfect break up, Mr. F2 just laid it all out on the table in the most efficiently evasive manner, through email.

This one was smoldering and then in final hours it was butted out with little care. So while my friends were laughing at my expense over this turn of events, I was left wondering if I wasn't worth breaking up in person with.

Can relationships be like a smoldering cigarette butt? Once you're finished smoking, you smother out the butt and toss it away without so much as looking back.

I guess so!
wow.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Oh Miami Nights was last night.
It was a fabulous party at revival and we can't wait to have our next night.
keeping it short. I have work to get done...

photos to come soon!