Can I stop laughing long enough to type a sentance?

no.

Last night, at the spur of the moment, my QF (Quadrupal F = Fun Fearless Female Friend) Nicola and I hit the streets for some unconventional fun. It landed us smack dab in the lap of Fez Boutique's speed dating circuit.

Oh man, what can I possibly say? OH I KNOW! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Armed with a brilliant smile, multiple vodka type cocktails and wicked pair of boots I sat and proceeded to engage everyone in sparkling and stunning conversation. To be fair, each of the men were so sweet, short, but sweet. Each had a fab story of how they ended up in Toronto and each one sounded like they had amazing jobs. Great guys who just don't really know how to meet the ladies.

Now, I was upfront and told them that they weren't my type, but, I found them really interesting. I ended up being the stop for dating advice and insight into the female mind they apparently, seemed to crave. Some I might end up building some great friendships with, others I really don't know what to think of...

Like "Blackberry Man"! He will forever stand out in my memory as a man with a lot of anger in his soul. The entire of the 3 minutes was spent trying to prove he was A) Smarter than me. B) Better than my friend Nicola C) More accomplished professionally than everyone else.

A) Ended up with him making a comment about how Paris Hilton is randomly famous. I enlightened him on the public fascination with socialites, and substantiated my rhetoric with reference to historical documents that concerned themselves specifically with socialites within the Toronto Area alone.

He had nothing to say.

B) Noticing my drink is the same as my friend's he pointed her out and proceeded to say that she was rude since she had an earpiece in. I explained she's a work a holic who is constantly evaluating and re-evaluating her work. I said "You learn to accept it, however, I've never noticed it to be a hindrance to our conversations. It's never barred her from being a good person or friend." He then pulled out his Blackberry and said "Then I could play on this and it would be okay." I smiled, and said "OMG, Nicola has one of those! But, it's a newer one!!" The blackberry was put away.

C) He asked what I did for a living. I told him I work in fundraising. He said "So you call people up and bother them to give money to the organization." and I said "I don't do that. We have telemarketers who do that." Then I asked "Did you go to university?" of course he replied that he did. I proceeded to ask "Did you have a scholarship, a bursary or other financial support while you were there?" he confirmed that he received a scholarship of some form. So I went for the kill "If we didn't fundraise, if we didn't make the need apparent, then your scholarship would not have materialized and you, my bitter little friend, would not have gotten a dime. But, we didn't beg, someone out there wanted to help, they wanted to assist. It's pure human kindness, and something you apparently lack quite a bit of"

DING DING DING! The date was over!
Thank God!

We went for some late night dinner, talked about the evening and you know what... I'm having a lot of fun being single. Maybe even a little bit more fun then I did when I was involved with someone.

What's on the agenda tonight? Who knows!? I don't have to worry about coordinating with another person so I could effectively do anything!