I logged onto Perez Hilton and what was there?
A hot track by Fergie.
A hot track by the fugged out cougar from BEP! I KNOW! I was shocked as well!!
The track is called, "London Bridge" and it'll be worshipped by jailbait worldwide. Like they need a reason to let a guy think he's the reason for their London Bridge Coming Down!
HA!
This is the first of a new feature on KarmaCake, are you excited!?
Well hold on to your hats, Kiddies!! Because throughout the summer I'll be profiling a number of Toronto lounges, restaurants and bars that are perfect to spend gorgeous summer nights or lazy hazy summer days. And, of course in true KarmaCake fashion, I'll also list the misses with some disses while saving the kisses for the best.
So get your summer togs on the ready because today we are going to hit a teensy tiny little hot spot called MiniBar!
Located a hop skip and a jump from Dundas Square at 107 Mutual Street (Mutual & Dundas), MiniBar is aptly named! With enough space to seat maybe 20-30 people, it is a diminuitive martini lounge with a rooftop patio that scores high on style, atmosphere and, of course, amazing staff.
I must say that the family that owns and operates the iconic The Mutual Street Deli (103 Mutual Street) did a great job in opening MiniBar on their rear end of their restaurant. Ryerson students know Mutual Street Deli very well if only for their quarter chicken dinner, salad and drink for less than $6. And, if price is a factor, let me say, that trend extends to MiniBar's price list as well!
Being the trooper that I am, I sampled a cornocopia of delicious martinis & cocktails to test the expertise of their mixologist/bartender/manager, April. This woman delivered! This woman has skills to mix some of the most drinkable concoctions that ever graced my lips. Martinis were refreshing & delightful from their Sour Apple straight on down to their Blue Devil. Cocktails were perfectly combined. April even mixed me a Mojito that didn't make me cringe with disgust, still it isn't my favorite drink, but, I could've done it, because April made it not so repellent. How? I know!! Mojitos are so unpleasant to consume!! But, I tell you, April is wicked! This bar is wicked! Then finally we capped it all off with a caramel apple shot because after that mojito, I needed something sweet.
So what's the decor?! Well imagine, a warm summer evening kissed with a light breeze teasing the white linen fabric that annoints the perimeter of the rooftop patio. The space crosses a 21st century Island retreat with a very modern ale house and you can tell that comfort played high on the designer's scheme. You feel comfortable to lounge, you feel comfortable to strike up conversations with people you don't know, you just feel great at MiniBar.
Are there downsides? Yes, there are no snacks. But, when we mentioned this to staff they did supply us with some tortilla chips and dip. They also asked what we would like to nosh on, so obviously the menu is evolving at MiniBar.
So in the end for an area that's not known to be the trendiest local in the T dot, MiniBar ads an effervescent twist that, like their cocktails, are surprisingly refreshing and invite you back for more.
MiniBar
107 Mutual Street
(416) 203-2274
Thanks to the good people at Tickle.com, I've learned a little something about myself that I already knew.
Thanks, Tickle.com for stating the obvious!
Karma, you're Sweet 'n' Sexy
You're not overt about your sexuality, but you're not purposely hiding it either — two traits that naturally draw people to you. You possess an understated zest for life, and a way of approaching the day with a can-do attitude that draws people to you. As a teenager, were you maybe a little on the quiet side? Even if you weren't, it's clear that underneath your occasionally understated statements, you have an undeniable sweetness that attracts people who see that special something burning from within.
Is it the way you carry yourself? That quiet sparkle in your eye? Those who know you intimately can't wait to uncover your sweetness. What's hiding behind that innocent smile? A little devil perhaps? A tattoo in a seductive spot saved only for your lover? Possibly, but you're so good, you'll never tell. Or will you?
In regards to a recent survey on whether or not Canadian's believe that child pornography should be illegal:
84% of Canadians said yes. *phew*!
But, truthfully, it's not the 84% I'm worried about! It's the remaining 16% that disagreed!!
That's more than the amount of Canadians that voted for the NDP!!
There is always two sides to every coin, and sometimes it doesn't always paint a pretty picture.
In a nut shell, here it is:
Don Cheadle is in town filming Talk to Me, a bio-pic focusing on American broadcast personality & community activist Ralph "Petey" Greene. Greene, a 1960's/'70s Washington, DC disc jockey who was also considered a comic genius by gaining popularity through his 'speechified' and rhymed schtick. (Thank you Hollywood North Reporter)
Well, seems like U of T students living on the back campus are walking around irate and exhausted due to extended filming hours and security not willing to step in on the behalf of students.
The production company responsible for Talk to Me apparently sent out a notice assuring students that they would stay within the reasonable sound limits as dictated by City of Toronto bylaws. But, obviously they haven't stayed within the limits at all!
Okay, you're now probably wondering, "When is it coming? When is Karma going to blow her gasket?"
No gasket blowing, just a little nudge on how people don't care about the students. If they did then campus police (who had security on the scene) would have most definitly responded to the complaints received by students. Instead they passed the buck to security on the scene stating that they had thing "under control"
If they did. Then I wouldn't have one seriously cranky, sleep deprived student in my office right now!!
Here is a glimpse into the enigma that is Karma.
I am a girl, with a blog, with a condo, a dvd player that sometimes has to stop and think midway through a session before it'll continue playing, and an overwhelming sense of optimism.
I can come on too strong, be bossy, by myself and often I can leave people with giant question marks above their heads. Who is she? What does she do? How does she do that? Was she really Miss Toronto?
If I was a painter, the answers would be in my art.
If I was a song writer the answers would be in my songs.
But, considering I am neither of those things, I suggest you take a look at my friends.
They are a mixed bag, an assortment of different people but each one has a quality that I can identify with. Some are eternal optimists, some are hard workers, some are geeks, dorks and heck, some are just self obsessed princesses. But, each of them love me and they can handle me.
Which is more I can say about ex-boyfriends... Truthfully, neither you, nor I, really want to go down that path. Let's just say, if they really got me, chances are pretty high that we would still be together.
So did I really answer your questions? Probably not.
But, I am staring at a sticky note that one of my girls left for me on a purple stick it note that reads: Karma, you are a peach!
And, you know what?
I sure, fucking am.
"How did everyone get ahead of me? Why did everyone butt infront of me?"
"BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOU!"
That's how the June 25th, Mariposa boat cruise came to a close. An obnxious 40-something year old drunkedly singing soccer anthems in an over crowded 12'X4' closed space and my irritation coming to the fore.
Booze Cruise?
no no no.
Cougar Cruise.
Fogie Boat.
Biddie Barge.
Honky Crossing.
Anything is a more apt description of Joel's Private Party aboard the "Luxurious" Captain Matthew Flinders.
Here's my review & commentary on the day that will forever be remembered as: The Day A Piece of My Soul Died.
First off, I should explain how I came to be on this lake bound greyhound. It all happened when a good friend of mine called me up thrilled and enthusiastic for the forthcoming "Joel's Private Party & Anniversay Boat Cruise". Apparently, it was a blast and that was all the testimonial I needed to say that I was in.
When we all arrived to the dock at Queen's Quay, there were a number of signs that should've told us to turn back.
- The captain remembered our friend from last year.
- The crew looked sad and defeated as they "welcomed" us on board.
- The amount of over processed middle aged people out numbered us 10 to 1
- No one on my team had deep dark fake tans, bloated bellies, bikini tops from the 80's, or moustaches like an employee at O.C.C.
- Ginos a plenty. Seriously. It was like we were on a Gino Refugee boat. Obviously trying to escape persecution due to their excessive meterosexuality.
In fact, the boat was populated with a mixed bag of losers and of course set adrift for 4 hours. A genius plan to reward the white collar population of Toronto with a few hours of rest.
"I know! We will get a skanky boat, fill it with liquor and cold cuts and the no collar subset will flock! We will charge the poor suckers so we not only get some rest BUT we will turn a profit!"
"OMG, That's GENIUS! But, what if they procreate? This breed of man seems to be unusually fertile like most bottom feeders. They often give birth to litters instead of a sole child."
"Don't worry, the rolls have something that looks like poppyseeds, but it's a clever form of birth control"
"Who will steer the cruise?"
"The Captaintude with Mulletude."
That's my interpretation of how the day was born. Now enter the feeling of entitlement the men on the cruise sport. Entitlement to treat the women like delicious pieces of meat to a dog who hasn't eaten in a week, or longer, or EVER!!
Ass smacking, ridiculous feats of strength, the incessent touching, prodding and obsession with the wome on the cruise.
The Cougars wanted the young ginos.
The Elderly men just wanted a woman. Any woman. Any woman at all!
My girls and I heard it all:
"Come on have a shot, you need to loosen up."
"Not with you people. Nope sorry!"
"I just want to jump up and give the finger to all the people working in their offices this Sunday and shout 'FUCK YOU! I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE! I'M NOT WORKING TODAY!' HA HA HA!"
"Those people don't work on Sundays. They are livin' the life & vacationing with their families in their cottages up in Muskoka."
"No one wears a hoodie up on the cruise! You're cute, want to join me and my girl."
"It's 'My Girl and I' and I wear a hoodie so that I can have some level of anonimity on these 4 hours that I'm forced to share with you."
"Are you staring at my ass, Pops?"
"You have a nice ass"
"You are old enough to be my GRANDFATHER!"
"Does that turn you on?"
"Getting close to the geriatric set does nothing for me. Don't look, touch or come near me or my friends. You are disgusting. The only bit of salvation I get from this conversation is that I know you will die soon and we will all be released from your lesciviousness" (okay, the last part I didn't say. But, I wanted to.)
"Bite the gum out of my mouth."
"Will it get you off my back?"
"Yes."
"MY GOD THOSE LEGS! THEY ARE SO LONG AND THEY GO RIGHT UP TO YOUR-"
"please, just stop there."
So to add insult upon injury, the cruise operators had the audacity to advertise their upcoming cruise on August 12!! My friend and I just laughed a little too hard when they thought their rank party was fun enough to warrant returning!
The food = sucked
The people = nasty and gross
The environment = poor and coated in liquor
Trust me, after participating in this party, you'll want to leave and take a long long shower to wash the remains of the skankiness off of your skin.
Photos to soon follow! I promise, this isn't one post that's going to die soon. It has set a new standard for "rock bottom"!
ttfn, kids!
Here they are at Speaker's Corner again. Spreading their infectious punning for the world. Now you can watch them live!
And, then you can log into their website and sign on to be a punshine!
You put a crew of Feasties (i.e. - Former Feast Dinner Theatre Players) on a patio on one of the hottest days in Toronto history? Well it all begins with giantic glasses of wine and ends up with photos that look like the gent isn't wearing pants.
I promise you, we're all good Maritime souls!
Dear Diary,
Today I open up with the story behind a relaxing day in Condo Nasté. Posing as the ever present relationship councillor for my friends across the country, I needed some down time. But, truthfully, that downtime was not going to happen today!
But, before the sobs and sad sighs of relationship woes, I drank nasty marguerita mix, threw in some laundry, and finally, I was invited to a pants party. Yes, it's true.
A pants party. RE: Anchorman.
The temperature outside is hot enough to cook an egg on someone's forehead, so I've chosen to kick back in my air conditioned condo. In a bit, Fiona is going to come over, and we'll probably have some drinks on the patio. Don't worry, I'll grab some photos. We're pretty cute.
Anyway, adios mi amigos!
Nacho Libre = Very cute movie
The Festival = Very entertaining mockumentary.
It's 10:52am I'm mail merging and I thought I would check out my statcounter for the day. You know see what the activity is like... and BANG what do I find...
Some person from Beaumont, Texas got to MY blog by virtue of a Yahoo! search for...
wait for it...
wait for it...
PREPUBESCENT MODELS PHOTOS!
SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK!
I hope you come back to my blog so that you can read about what a SICK AND TWISTED piece of work you are!
For those of you who are from the Maritimes you understand the late night cravings for garlic fingers and donair sauce. You understand the need to dial up your Joey's Pizza, your Greco Pizza, your Pizza Delight or your local favorite pizza joint in order to satisfy that craving!
Well imagine living in a place where you were denied that option! Not out of cruelity, but, purely out of ignorance!
So now, I'm sure you're asking, "What did Karmacake do now?"
Well I'll tell you what I did, Kids! I hit the net and I found a Maritime staple, Pizza Delight. A chain of Boston Pizza-esque pizza joints that produce some of my favorite pizza & garlic fingers, ever. It's the dough.
Then, I found all the locations within an hour's radius of Toronto:
So we make it to Pizza Delight on 802 Main Street, Shelburne. We go in, we sit down and I attempt to introduce Tara to the world of garlic fingers and donair sauce. It wasn't as hard is it looked. We got Pizza Delight's bizzare 
bastardization of a donair for the fix, while others... well...
"What is at Teen Ranch?"
"Do they wrangle teens?"
"Do they send criminal teens there?"
"LET'S GO IN!"
Save the children!
I never thought it was a monstrosity... but, I suppose it is.
Apparently, Ms. Knightley's Jaw is notorious for bad tipping, stealing Stravos from Paris and apparently is mythically horny. Unbeknownst to me, it has a life unto itself and there is a website designed solely to track it down and report the latest in news.
Thank, God. That's all I have to say. 
Thanks to the super sleuthing skills of one miss Nicola Moore seen here with Forrest Gump marvelling over... what else? Keira Knightley's Jaw.
June 24th, 2006
In front of a live audience in the heart of downtown Toronto
The hottest new tv show to ever be produced into a pilot!
3 live bands
3 hosts
1 night
You want to know more? You're going to have to wait for it!
This isn't channel 59, 36 or 29
It's something different
And, it won't make you gag.
I'm getting so tired, I'm getting behind in my postings.
But, here's the gist of things, I'm busy.
Tonight is the mega event for the COC at Nathan Philips Square that I need to roll out for at some point tonight.
Peaches has a new song out that's really great. You can find the link to it HERE. Yes, she has a new album.
I'm seconds away from passing out at my desk.
MUST SLEEP!
You might want to reconsider heading into court wearing a t-shirt with Stewie Griffin threatening at gun point "Victory is Mine!"
If you are 17 and heading to court for terrorism charges, it is perfectly acceptable to allow your mother to dress you that day.
smile!
There's something evil about the emotions you feel after a break up. And, somehow Lily Allen sums it all up perfectly. So my ex wasn't "fucking the girl next door" but, he was hunting down ho's on lavalife.
Do I still love him? Yeah, a part of me still does. But, a part of me also says "When I see you cry, it makes me smile."
Thanks Lily.
You're sweetly saucy lyrics are true and real.
I love the UK and their music.
It's so great!
Through the introduction of Nicola, Tara and I are trying to accomplish the Master Cleanse.
For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a body detox that involves the consumption of lemonade sweetened with maple syrup in order to promote the expulsion of toxins in the body.
I'm on Day 1 and it's 12:30pm and so far so good. I've drank about 500ml of the lemonade and I don't have any cravings just yet.
Is it healthy? Well, the way I look at it is there's got to be some sort of build up of crap just floating around in my system. I'm not looking to maintain this diet on the long term, simply on the short term FOR long term benefits.
It is not a diet to lose weight! But, no doubt that will be a side effect!
m
I have my 10,000th visitor today!
The monumental visit was from a fellow Rogers internet user in Toronto in the Yonge/Bloor area!
Big love going out to you!!
AH! A beautiful Saturday day! Sun is shining, the patio is empty, I have my Second Cup skim green tea chiller and a brand new issue of Elle magazine.
Could Life be any more awesome!?
Flipping through the pages of my magazine I come across a compelling article - a gripping expose that can only be found in the latest fashion magazine, of course! This particular article brought to light the realities of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). BDD, it needs to be said, is a psychiatric condition where the individual has a preoccupatio with an imagine defect in appearance that can lead to unhealthy behaviour. The article goes on to clarify that eating disorders are not associated to BDD. That has something to do with serotonin reuptake inhibitors used to treat BDD doesn't work on those with eating disorders... or something like that. I honestly don't know the logistics, I did after all read it in Elle.
Understand?
There also needs to be something said that the original perameters established to diagnose BDD recently had to be revised because it turns out that pretty much everyone suffered from it. So they had to raise the bar, you know, like a twisted members only club for the genuinely warped.
But, this had me thinking. Recently, I went through a period where I didn't want to leave the house because I was overly concerned with the way my body looked. I even sat and cried. I constantly repell comments on how great I look with an "I'm so fat", I camouflage my "problem" areas, I seek reassurance from others on my appearance, I wear sunglasses to conceal wrinkles that apparently I only have vision keen enough to spot.
Like the girl in the article, I too considered going for therapy, but, the fear of being happy with my outward appearance prevents me. Because, seriously, what IF I'm happy and I gain a trillion pounds!!! And, this apparently is another indicator of BDD, an all or nothing attitude.
At this point, I'm hooked. Being able to relate to something appearing in a fashion magazine is oddly gratifying, probably due to its rarity. It opened my eyes, it helped me understand further I have a problem. But, of course, in true fashion mag style, the article just dropped off the radar and decended in the low flying zone of smaltz and personal discovery.
"WE HAD A BREAKTHROUGH, YOU AND I!," I think forcefully while shaking the article, "HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! HOW COULD YOU!?"
The vicious turn happened around the time when the writer went to therapy and revealed her cliff notes of her life in hopes of exposing the root of her disfunction. Of course, it came from her family! That makes sooooo much sense! It couldn't have come from anywhere else, like the FASHION MAGAZINE SHE WRITES FOR... or the ANOREXIC PREPUBESCENT MODELS COVETED IN ITS PAGES... or the ARTICLE ON THE NO ANEASTHETIC EYE PLASTIC SURGERY APPEARING ON THE COVER OF THE SAME ISSUE... or heck... you know... maybe it was an unhappy childhood. That's waaaaay more credible then the fashion industries destructive esthetic that's marketed like mass propangada.
Way more credible.
Anyway, in the end, the article gets sappy. She meanders about her lost love in South Dakota and tops it with the cherry of all cherries, looking at a black and white photo of herself as a child and asks it, "What do you need from me?" and the photo responds, "I need you to let me go. I need you to be brave. I need you to live your life now."
I think the photo said this "Put me the Fuck down and eat a sandwich, Bitch."
Unfortunatly, my photos tell me "You're a fat cow. But, you'll work it off."
Destructive, maybe.
But, I have really awesome girlfriends now, and they support me in ways that I never knew. They can support me in this.
BTW, rumour has it, those mega watt sunglasses the superstars are wearing are a sign they are anorexic in order to get more work. Think about it.
The biggest news story to hit Canadians is of course the capture of 17 individuals allegedly involved in plotting terror attacks here in Canada.
Of course it's shocking to think that the woes of the world are starting to befall in our quaint little Canadian bubble! But, thankfully, unlike intelligence in the U.S. we managed to suss it out and stop it before something truly terrible happened!
The plot of the individuals sounded a bit like a Guy Faulks activity complete with burning down the Parliament Buildings. CBC.ca reports that this is inspired by Al-Queada, and Karmacake says it was inspired by V for Vendetta. Honestly, folks, we are Canadians... our thought process is never usually so sophisticated to go beyond the realm of Hollywood.
Also, the terror attacks were going to happen where? Mississauga, Toronto & what?! The township of Ramara? We have some seriously disgruntled 905'ers on our hands here. Toronto, sure... Mississauga? What were they going to do? Attack Square One? I used to work there! Those bitches, carry guns! And, what is this Ramara place? How does any of this make sense!?
Again, the sophistication issue, we lack that! It's the Canadian way! Even CBC.ca reports directly from another news source:
Elsewhere, the Times of London reported Wednesday that the 17 arrests in the Toronto area were actually linked to a much bigger international investigation.
Summer is here, Kids!
Get out your bikinis, your suntan lotion, your rollerblades and let's enjoy the season!
So I've got some saucy pictures for you, music picks and misses and of course all presented in that unique Karmacake fashion that you all know and love.
First some saucy photos:
Mitchell: Not a playwright, a Playah, RIGHT!
Nicola & Tara caught in the act.
My favorite band of all time is in town playing at The Hummingbird and I've completely missed out on buying tickets.
Radiohead is the one band that introduced me to a world beyond pop and really got me jazzed about thoughtful lyrics, musical evolution of mainstream bands and guitar driven songs.
It's funny how one band can have so much influence on a 12 year old mind. One band can burn such a lasting impression that I feel that my loyalty to the band is absolute. I'm glad the show is sold out, it goes to show that there are followers like myself that won't judge the band harshly for their OK Computer departure to Kid A. I accept it as their creative right as an artist to compose music that is innovative and thrilling to them, even if it's not a commercial success.
So I'm sad, no Radiohead for me, unless I come across a ticket on craigslist.
Where is a handsome man to swoop into my life and grace me with tickets to concerts? Must be tall. Must be handsome in that abercrombie & fitch kind of way.
After an incredibly busy day I get home, I meet up with my friends and get ready to go out for a night of dancing!
We get to the club a little late and miss our friend's boyfriend spinning, but, we had a great time regardless. Before we left, there were a few late night photos taken! Including, Kitty, Tara's cat enjoying a delicious strawberry marguerita with extra tequila.
Kitty LOVES her cocktails, and here are the photos to prove it!
Photos to come soon... they aren't uploading right now.
My first chance to review job applications, and woah nelly, what a job that was!
Reviewing hundreds of applications was daunting at first, until I realized how quickly I could surf through! There are a ton of errors that job applicants commit in their applications. And, here's the short list you should follow when applying for a job in the future? Sorry, my language is slurred, I just finished looking at a lot of job applications!
1. When you say you have attention to detail, make sure the name of the person you're addressing the letter to has their name spelled correctly! Attention to detail would mean, you spell their name right!
2. Choose to use paragraphs! We all love paragraphs in cover letters, in all honesty, I'm not reading every word. I'm looking for key points. No paragraphs = no clue how to write a letter.
3. Don't mail your application in from your email if the email address is "Trouble T" "CHICKY_69" or "Sexy Lassy". Spend the extra 5 minutes and get a neutral job application email with your name in the header.
4. Cover Letter AND Resume!
5. Make sure you have qualifications pertanent to the job offered.
6. Try to at least customize your cover letter to the job you're applying for. And, ensure that the fonts match.
7. If the name of the person you're applying to is included in the job notice, don't start the letter "To Whome it may concern", you know who is concerns, we told you. Write it in!
That's all I have to say.
I'm going home!
My friend Christopher Scott (one of the faces of KMS California) is competing in an online contest to be the next Idol Underground.
He's fighting to stay in the top 10, and seriously, he is very talented! He's got a fresh, contemporary and uniquely Californian sound that really is great. But, to stay in the top 10 he needs folks to click on the link below, scroll down and vote for him.
It's nice you don't have to register, just click in, click on his songs and vote by sliding the bar up to 5 and submitting it. It takes about 10 seconds to do and it'll mean a lot to him.
You know me, always happy to help out a friend!
Here's the link!
http://www.idolunderground.com/Tournaments/ContestDetails.aspx?2845