It dawned on me the other day -Santa Claus doesn't eat the cookies you leave out for him.

Think about it, how could he? Nobody could ever eat billions of cookies. "So," I thought to myself, "What could Santa possible do with all those cookies!?"

I now have a theory.

We all know the setting: Santa Clause, a jolly old soul, spends his time with his wife, elves and reindeer in a charming village in the North Pole. He spies on children monitoring their overall goodness, while the Mrs. feeds the reindeers, and the elves build electronics out of wood... or something to that effect.

But, something here just doesn't add up... the econonmics! North Pole could place Santa Claus as a resident of Canada. Think Santa is beyond paying his civil obligations!? No sir, if the Queen pays then so does Santa!

Recalling the 1999 leak of Santa's Private Diary we see a grim picture of elf teamsters, union woes and rival holiday mascots. All is not sugar plum dreams up in Santa land. You can read it all here.

My theory is that Santa, unable to maintain the idealistic life he is accustomed to, resolved to not eat another cookie again. Instead, once, he slides down the chimney and removes a present or two from his sack, he replaces them with the cookies left out for his enjoyment.
He then returns to the North Pole, heavy with his baked bounty, where he passes the load off to the elves... Are you with me now? You may be more familiar with these teamsters as "The Kiebler Elves". These characters then package the cookies and resell them to the public.

In the end, the revenue generated goes to bills, the village, pay cheques and reindeer upkeep. Oh did I forget to mention, it also goes to the internet bill where Santa does his shopping for all the presents for the world's good little boys and girls.

You didn't really think that Ipods were fashioned from wood did you?