I'm feeling fly yo cuz I'm at the boat yo.
With the double rock beat drop steal my skeez Karaokay
Uh, a hip hop karaokay.
White girls busting up rhymes
Hood rats lookin fine
Asian kid spittin shit
I ain't taking it
pour me another drink
Cuz - I - don't - rap.

My style is like buttah, and yours is parkay.

Okay enough of that. I'm no rap star and I have no desire to be a rap star, but, tonight I had to check out Hip Hop Karaoke. It's the hottest night in Toronto and in it's 3rd run it's bringing out an impressive crowd of hoodrats, beatniks, wannabes and, yes, even their own brand of die hard HHK groupies. Unmistakably, the groupies sport HHK T-shirts and are not working the night.

So don't ask them for a drink. They don't like that.

Regardless of how many of us were biting at the bit to hit the stage, only one of us hit the mic. I satisfied myself by taking pictures of folks on stage, the National Post photographer, the ill fitting disco ball, the crowd, and the ice buckets hung with wire from the ceiling to catch leaking drips. Derrick (our resident HHK rap star) did well! He did so good he had the crowd cheering him on when he sang the chorus.

Now, there is no fancy monitors, no instrumental cd's with back up vocals. There is you, a mic, and the DJs spinning the beats to a barrage of popular hip hop tracks. Parul was verbally distressed over the absence of Tupac on the menu and went so far as to say she may never return. Because Tupac for Parul IS Hip Hop.

Yes, The Boat (158 Augusta Ave) is a hole that is the hole in the wall in Kensington. Walk in the nautical inspired front door, up the stairs and into a deliciously kitschy 70's den complete with mirrored portholes. The drinks are cheap ($5) and are heavy on the booze. Watch out though, if you drink it's inevitable you're on a heading towards one sowwester of a drunk. Thank you free pouring bartenders.

Go. Enjoy HHK. Next one is on May 10th, I'll be there with my crew. Make sure you get there early and grab a table. Not only does it fill up fast but song sign up opens at 9pm and fills up equally fast.

And, I'm learning a song for it as well. I'm going to "tear it up" I'm going to "burn the muthafucka down."
blah blah blah.

It was fun... and next time I go it won't be post extreme illness.