One night.
One audition tape.
One crew.
Two Locations.
One over extending Karmacake.
I rocked on into the Ping Pong Puma event at Revival last night. Heavily attended by many fun and sassy folks. Including the Trailer Park Boys.
What did I do? Walk in, eat the perogies, udon noodles and grilled cheese sammiches. Steal Puma branded water bottles and water. Play ping pong (unsuccessfully) and ham it up for the camera. Including, interviewing a poster of Natasha Beddingfield.
You would be surprised to know that she sounds like a small Mexican child. She likes Flips, Famous Lovers and her history is Unwritten. You learn something new everyday. 
The Trailer Park Boys refused to interview on camera, however, we got stills with them. All except for Ricky. Nope, no Ricky. Ricky was really drunk, and I felt uncomfortable around him. Bubbles tried to be empathetic, however, he weasled his way out of being on camera by offering me a bottle cap opener with Leahy on it.
A bottle cap opener.
His groupies looked at me like this was a real score.
Do I look like I fucking care for your cheap assed tchochkas?
I didn't even touch it. I just stared at it and them in disgust.
I turned to the girl that was holding it high above her head and in my face, "Look it's so cool"
"Yeah, maybe You want it then. I have a nicer bottle opening at home."
Then some guy chimes in after they left. Also a guy instrumental for major ass sucking on Bubble's behalf contributing to my failed on camera interview.
"Persistance is good, but, he didn't want to be on camera"
"Who are you?"
"I'm a guy that-"
"Do you have anything to do with the Trailer Park Boys?"
"No, but, I work with-"
"Are you a legal rep?"
"No, but, I-"
"Fuck You."
I walked away, grabbed my crew, followed the boys to the green room and got still shots. But, not before I chilled with Devon Soltendieck, Much Music VJ, and sweetheart extraordinaire. I got a still with him as well for my tape. He wished me luck, we hugged, exchanged European kisses and parted ways.
I went to the Green Room.
I want my photos.
I want my audition tape to rock.
I spare you the details, but, the night was long and there were adventures.
I was sober.
Babygirl, you hold the power.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I have admit, although juvenile, I really enjoy Kenny vs. Spenny.
There's going to be nothing poignant in this post except for a 9 minute clip from the first half of my favorite episode.
Why? Kenny pulls the cruelest prank on Spenny in order to win the competition.
Below is a copy of the letter to both horrify you and entertain you.
You might experience the death of your soul. Truly, you will benefit no more from the experience that I post than to perfect find a remote amount of humour in one guy's audacity.So I hear the rumours are true. The show is heavily staged. But, if you want to be like me and believe it to be not true. The revel and revile!
Happy spring day! Enjoy!
President of Liberia Ellen Johnson Sirleaf will deliver an address at the University of Toronto as part of her two-day visit to Canada on Thursday, March 29 at noon in the Great Hall of Hart House.
Johnson Sirleaf’s address, entitled “Stand With Us, Canada: What Gives Liberia Hope”, will focus on how Canada can help Liberia set an example for African nations emerging from conflict. Premier Dalton McGuinty will be in attendance and Janice Gross Stein, Director of the Munk Centre for International Studies, will moderate a question and answer period following the address.
“The University of Toronto has been engaged for decades in the scholarly study of Africa through our African Studies program, and recently has built partnerships on the continent to fight the HIV/AIDS pandemic,” says University of Toronto president David Naylor. “We are honoured to welcome President Johnson Sirleaf and to hear her vision for the renewal of Liberia.”
Johnson Sirleaf is a Harvard-educated economist and the first woman to be elected head of state in Africa. Inaugurated as President in January of 2006 in Liberia’s first elections since the end of a 14-year civil war, Johnson Sirleaf is credited with taking steps to reduce corruption, build support from international donors, and encourage private investment in the West African nation.
WHO: Her Excellency Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of the Republic of Liberia
WHERE: Great Hall, Hart House, 7 Hart House Circle
WHEN: Thursday, March 29, 2007 at noon
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Kids,
I'm going to say this once, and hopefully it'll correct a lot of ills out there.
But, this sign:
Are not the same thing.
The above is the American Sign Language for "I Love You". Yes, it's both touching, and beautiful.
The lower image is of "La Corna" a derogatory hand gesture to symbolize horns, also used as the sign of the devil at rock concerts such as Slayer.
If you want to tell your deaf girlfriend something touching, you use the "I Love You" one. If you want to stick your tongue out and look hardcore in a photo with your friends eating MacDonald's on a streetcorner, you use the "La Corna" one.
Hopefully this tutorial has saved a few more geeky white guys the pain of saying I love you to the lead guitar player in their favorite thrash metal group.
Apparently, young trendsetters are hungry to pimp it on the fairway. Out are the extreme sports of yore and in is the nouveau geriatric "play safe play hard" leisure sports.
Now trendsters can putt putt their way from the 8th green to stylin' in a whole array of generically safe prepster fashion. While the line boldly ignores the "no white after labour day" philosophy, I was disappointed to see not one shirt read "GOLF OR DIE!"
Lesbians will LOSE IT with the lines attention to comfort. Clothes are cut minus an appreciation for the female form. Images of models swim in shapeless golf shirts, waistlines pucker unexpectedly at the girth of breasts, skirts fall at unflattering lengths, and hoodies mimic the comfortable style of Lululemon. All visible on the line's website.
Ironically, the company description invites "Adventure junkies" to rejoice. For the days of conformist golfing fashion is now apart of the past.
Please.
McGill grads Geoff Tait and Bobby Pasternak have their heart in their right place. However, the line falls short of the company's key promise "Fashion not fit for the fairway"
Guys, not only is it fit for the fairway, it's fit for the elderly, the infirm and the chronically boring.
Competing American retailers have an exciting line of accessories that break tradition and will put the zip back in your golf attire. Try Ame & Lulu's Sassy Golf Belts and Cocchia "Styles that Swing"
Cocchia saucy style features, well cut polos, tweed gauchos, form fitting tops, and 30's inspired button seamed pencil skirts.
Or, if you can't be bothered to try and locate those items in Toronto, then head over to Urban Outfitters at Yonge & Shuter. Assemble your own sexy golfing outfit from their urban line of fitted t's, hoodies, pants including smocked waist convertible, cropped, and widelegged seersucker trousers. UO even has a few sassy golf skirts, romper short sets and fab accessories to keep you looking fresh and urban on the green.
Quagmire Golf is a disappointing Toronto start up that lacks the delivery of unboring and excels in generic lululemon spins that ignore the basic principal of dressing a lady.
We like to look and feel pretty.
Just because it's Canadian doesn't mean I can't say it sucks.